You don't want to play like a girl, run like a girl, cry like a girl.

This is just one of the ways that young men learn that to be a girl is bad, and it sows the seeds that men are better than women.

Young women also internalise this language and start to believe it about themselves. And given gender inequity is the major driver of men's violence against women, this language is important.

The other driver of men's violence against women is outdated ideas of what it means to be a man.

In other words, they act like a "man" when they fear they're acting too much like a "girl".

For this reason, boys and girls need positive, strong role models who challenge these outdated ideas.

Men use violence at far higher rates than women. They also hold attitudes that condone or excuse violence more than women.

This is why the work that I, and so many others do, focuses on what makes a good man, and how we can reduce violence.

Most men are not violent. And these men can have enormous influence in reducing men's violence against women well into the future.

One of the most important things that anyone can do is to challenge those who excuse violence or blame victims. These attitudes are harmful because those who believe them are more likely to use violence themselves.

Finally, we need to move beyond the simple "real men don't hit women" idea and challenge the underlying causes of violence against women; gender inequality and stereotypes.

For boys and girls to grow up thinking that men and women are truly equal they must be surrounded by that equality from their earliest days. Only when this happens will we see these concerning attitudes begin to change.